Count Your Blessings...

"Count your blessings, not your problems"

This is one of the first things I read today- after this group text message between myself and my cousins:
"Let's go walk again today- we can take turns pushing the strollers and running"

What a great way to start the day.

I found this picture on Facebook yesterday. It is a great reminder that if you are not ready to commit or make the change then you will not be successful losing weight. Every day I second guess myself and doubt that I can lose weight. For example this afternoon I thought to myself: "do I really NEED to be skinny? I really want to just sit on the couch and eat a bag of pretzels, drink soda, and eat a half a bag of chocolate chips." I WANT to lose weight, I WANT to be healthy I just have really crappy habits that I need to change. Most times I feel like it is easier just to eat now because I won't be able to lose the weight anyways....talk about a bummer!

Today instead of eating an entire bag of pretzels I had 3 sourdough ones over two hours and 3 snack size peppermint patties- an improvement by far....no more snacks for the rest of the day unless it is fruit or vegetables.

Breakfast was a glass of water, bowl of cereal (fiber one), half a banana, a handful of raspberries, and a glass of water....

Lunch-glass of water, bacon ranch salad with grilled chicken, a bite of cheeseburger, a few of Sarah's fries and a diet coke... Not wonderful but still an upgrade from a medium number 2 with coke, a frappe, and ice cream...

We also walked 1.5 miles at the park ( I walked and Sarah (who is only 2 and a 1/2) rode her bike the whole time!)

Dinner will be whatever my mom is having...plus I will have to either turn down cake or have 1/3 the size I usually do...I hope it is a kind I don't really like!

The day is not perfect, but its better than I have been doing! I exercised, avoided super fattening foods, and cut snack sizes big time! Chin up and make tomorrow better!

Goals Week One

Let's get right to it.....goals:

1.Drink a glass of plain water BEFORE every meal

2.Eat a salad with lunch and dinner (Alicia R trademark :))

3.Do some type of working out every day(15 minutes to an hour-doesn't matter what it is!)

4.While the kids nap DO NOT EAT THE ENTIRE TIME- sew, workout, read, do something other than watch tv because tv is usually associated with food at this time of day (stupid I know).


Not terribly difficult. I've always read that a good rule of thumb is to only change one habit at a time because it is MUCH MUCH easier to stick with it, but I've been working on 3 out of four of the goals for awhile now with mostly success. I just need to firm them up. The salad at every meal is the new one.

I also am in the process of sticking quotes and pictures of myself to motivate myself more. They will be on the fridge, in each bathroom, on my pantry door, and in my room. I will attach pics and quotes to my next post- the one below is a good one to start with!

"The only time success occurs before work is in the dictionary"

Day one

Well it's day one...time for the food post. I started the day with yogurt, granola, and an iced coffee. I know there's a banana in the picture but I ate that at lunch instead... I started using a baby spoon to eat food instead of a regular sized spoon. My rationale for this is less food, same number of bites (crazy maybe but worth a try). I ended up eating 1.5 things of yogurt..my son Will ate half of the other (pic below :)).

Lunch consisted of a bowl of bagged salad, 3 small chicken strips (the other 2 went to Sarah), bacon bits, blue cheese dressing, 5 bites of cottage cheese, one glass of plain water, one glass of water with lemonade mio, and a banana....lots of food, none of it terribly unhealthy though.

Snack is a bowl of pretzels, an apple, and 3 snack size peppermint patties...I broke down after sewing for an hour and finished the last 1/2 cup of icecream. Now it is gone though (whew!).

Dinner- I steamed a Birdseye rice mixture and had my salad with some raspberries.
And of course a glass of water first.

Snack- 2 sourdough pretzels and a Smirnoff before bed....

Not a great day overall- much better than usual

A bonus: took the kiddos to the park, walked 2 miles, and declined an ice cream invitation. Plus I did not pull into McDonalds when I went by for an iced coffee, food or ice cream! It's a constant battle...

The Plan

What do you write as your first word, sentence, paragraph, post for the blog that is going to document the progress of the overhaul you plan to do on your life? I don't know the best way to start this blog....but this is how I am going to...

My name is Melissa.

I am 27 years old.

I am 5'4" tall.

I am married.

I have blonde hair.

I have blue eyes.

I have two children-Sarah and Will.

I have a wonderful extended family. 

I have a great job.

I live in a beautiful house.

I sew anything and everything.

I build furniture out of pallets.

I am a crafter.

I am a high school Math teacher.

I am a great friend. 

I have great friends.

MY LIFE IS WONDERFUL! 

But I do not enjoy,embrace,value, love, cherish,  (insert chose adjective here) ...because I am morbidly obese.

Whew, I acknowledged it. I put it out there. I typed the words. I said them out loud:

 I. AM. MORBIDLY. OBESE. 

I am a Math teacher, therefore a logical thinker when it comes to everything it seems, but myself. I know that I am obese, I know that I am unhappy, I know I need to lose weight-but I just haven't in the past. It is not for a lack of trying. I start a diet and three days later I give up. Then I beat myself up for weeks, build myself back up, try again, and give up a week later. It is a terrible cycle both physically and emotionally. I am an emotional train wreck. 

 When I am around my friends and family I am an entirely different person than I feel when I am alone. I am a great actress. I play the part of the strong, confident, independent woman that does not care or even acknowledge she is obese. This woman dresses nice, wears nice makeup, has nice hair, is always making jokes and is fairly funny. She goes out of her way to do things for anyone that asks her, and never says no when a favor is asked of her. She takes her kids to play dates, makes food for every gathering, has small parties at her house, and loves to host any party or event. She loves to be a part of everything and doesn't need anyone to tell her thank you. To my family I am the girl that hardly ever cries, is tough as nails, and has perfect self-esteem. Oh how I have fooled them.....

I am not saying that I am emotional or negative to the point that I am depressed or anything...although I have been there before. I just am saying that I am not happy with myself because of the way that I look. I cringe when I see myself in pictures, I avoid them whenever possible, and I almost always volunteer to take group shots-thereby avoiding being in them without saying "I don't want you to take my picture because I don't want to see how fat I look".  The weirdest part about being overweight is that when I look in the mirror I feel like don't look THAT big...It hits me the hardest when I see a picture of myself. Then I think "Wow...is that me?...how do people look at me without cringing?...No wonder I never dated in college....This is why I never had drinks bought for me at bars...How does my husband love me?....Where did that double chin come from?...Why did my family tell me this shirt looked good?...When did this happen?...Why didn't anyone say anything to me?...." and a whole slew of other very self-deprecating, self-loathing, hateful, and negative thoughts.  Then I eat whatever I can find in my house, watch tv, play with my kids, sew, and try to forget that I was in that picture. It is a cycle that I have been repeating over and over for years....it is terrible and it needs to stop. So this is my plan....

I am starting this blog to write down every feeling and emotion I have related to my weight. It is also going to be a blog about my 'journey' of losing weight. I am not a fan of the word journey...but I cannot think of a better word to describe it. I will blog about what I eat, what I do, how I feel, any anything else I want to because this blog is all about me (selfish, I know).  

Today is Monday, April 15th 2013 and today my life will change forever. 

My current weight is: 252 lbs

My goal weight is: 152 lbs 

HERE I GO!!