Sticking to my plan seems impossible at this point in time. When I sit on the couch in the living room I can see: pringles, biscotti, candy mints, baked cheetos, 100 calorie packs of keebler fudge cookies, granola bars, angel food cake, a huge loaf of italian fresh baked bread(this by far looks the most inviting), and even more food I cannot see from this vantage point. The refrigerator has a peanut butter pie, balogna, soda, juice, cheese, and the freezer has about 20 ice cream bars and tubs of ice cream. I can practically hear the food chanting: eat me, eat me, eat me!
For breakfast I had special K cereal with skim milk. At 10 or so I helped make a chocolate pudding pie-licked out the bowl and ate a handful of baked Cheetos two mints, and two rice cakes. I then made an excuse that I was tired so that I could get out of the room and take a nap. When I woke up the food was still staring at me so here I am typing to you from the McDonald's in town with music blaring through my headphones eating a salad with grilled chicken, sipping iced coffee (better than the frappe I REALLY wanted) and watching my plain half-full low fat vanilla ice cream melt. The whole way here I asked myself: Would I rather be skinny or eat the cheeseburger? That question was followed by: Will one cheeseburger really hurt? (Look at me-it is never just one. You know it and I know it). I decided it WOULD hurt, skipped a small fry that "wouldn't hurt" either, and got the medium vanilla iced-coffee and ice-cream (that combined are less calories than the cheeseburger) as a "reward" for not choosing the-excuse my french: shi**y food.
I need to find a way to exercise today...and I don't know how I am going to...I walked a lap around wal-mart looking for the cheapest headphones possible ($4.99), but that isn't going to cut it....I will find a way-the rain is beginning to stop, so maybe I can convince everyone to go to the park with the kids and walk.
**FOOD TIP: With McDonald's salad I always do two things-pick out the 4 tomatoes that are always in it, and take the sliced chicken and break it into even smaller pieces. That way I am guaranteed to get a piece of chicken at least every other bite and I feel like it is more.**
To jump topics-
Talking on the phone to my cousin the other day, I realized that I haven't felt hungry (except maybe once or twice) in forever. I came to this conclusion:
I do not eat when I'm hungry- I eat when I don't feel full anymore
Holy cow, what a revelation that one was at 11:30 pm last night. I eat when I am NOT FULL....not a good habit to have at all... ugh just thinking about it makes me feel crappy. I think that is what I miss. I've thought about it the last few days. I am not hungry...but something feels like it's missing-it's the constant feeling of fullness that I've had for months, years even...wow.
I don't know what it means....but I think that realizing it is a big deal. That is all I have for now-if you have any insights feel free to enlighten me :).
I hope everyone has a great day-keep your heads up and remember:
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